Monday, June 25, 2012

My Best-Big-Brother Speech: transitional patience and momentary celebrations.

In the aftermath of my oldest sister's wedding (which was wonderful, by the way), I texted her and jokingly asked if she was pregnant yet. We chuckle, pass our thankful/congratulatory words, and I die a little inside; because, I've started, along with a long line of hecklers for years to come, to push my sister and her husband into their next phase of life without giving them time to enjoy what has only just begun.
Now many of you may think I'm looking too much into these typical words joked by typical people, but I am not called to be typical.

This brings me to a conversation I had at the reception: a friend of mine has recently graduated after many transfers and jests about never graduating. Instinctively, one of us in the circle (I can't remember if it was me or not, but it probably was) asked, "so, what's next?" I think being a part of the school system, always having another level to get to, has forced our minds to continually move to what comes next in our lives. In doing this, we can no longer enjoy what achievements we have made, or, if we do, they are short lived due to the snide comments of fools such as myself. "When are you going to get a real person job?", "When are you going to find a nice man/woman to spend your life with?", "Are you getting married?", "When are you having a baby?", "Are you going to have more (before the first one is even out)?"

This is my moment to back-up all of you single people out there: there is nothing wrong with you if you're not married by 22 (or 30, or 50, or 111). God has plans for you as a single person, just as he has plans for people that are married. Marriage it is not the only way God can use a person; in fact, Paul would argue that it is not even the best way God can use somebody. I get so frustrated when I hear comments that suggest otherwise. And if you're a couple that doesn't want to have kids, don't have kids. Travel. Spread love to people that are lonely. Listen to what God has called you to as a couple. I digress...

As I am a married man and I am about to have my first child (<---see!), I've learned that I don't want to spread this impatient disease to that child, but I want to help them celebrate their milestones and discover who God is calling them to be. This is part of the reason that Jenn and I have decided to, even after finding out, not to share the gender (or names were thinking of) with anyone. We want to enjoy the secret, while we have it, and be able to introduce our child to the world as the individual they are to be. I hope that, for my newly married sister and brother-in-law and my gestational child, they learn to ignore the impatience of those around them (specifically of their families) and learn to celebrate the moments that only come once.

Logan and Dan, I'm so excited for you to begin this leg of your journey together. I'm also proud to be able to celebrate, without hesitation or expectation, your happy and blessed marriage together. As the bard sings, "If you need me, call me no matter where you are, no matter how far."